Better Than Anything

I've fallen in love four times in my life. 

The first time was with the guy who became my husband. I met him when I was 19 and I wouldn't say it was love at first site, but more of that giddy, butterflies-in-the-belly nervousness of a new romance. He was a whopping six years older than me (which seems like a lot when you're 19 and 25), so I wasn't sure it could really work. But, it didn't take long for both of us to realize that our relationship was something special and it quickly grew into something much deeper than that initial slaphappy feeling. 

The other three times were when I met each of my daughters for the first time. Of course, I LOVED them as soon as I knew they were growing inside me. I wanted to protect them and thought about them constantly. They were literally with me anywhere and everywhere I went every second of the day. We had a connection, both physically and spiritually. However, it's a strange feeling to be so infatuated with a person you have never even met. With my first two, we didn't find out their gender in advance, so they didn't even have names. Until they did. Until they were born. When their tiny, slimy, red, wrinkled, writhing little bodies were laid upon my chest - that's when I was IN LOVE with each of them  - the same, but also anew every time. 

That feeling of being newly in love is overwhelming and powerful in the most wonderful and joyous way. It is also rare and exceptionally hard to replicate.That means, there are not many things in life that feel quite as fabulous as the sensation which engulfs you when you realize you have fallen totally and completely in love. There are, however, a handful of things that come somewhat close. 

Here's my Finish the Sentence Friday Listicle of things that are "better than anything except falling in love."

Children -  Some people don't particularly like young children and that's totally fine.  After all, they are germy, temperamental, and loud. However, they are also precious, innocent, and honest. They make me smile and make me laugh. They are where I see all that's good and pure in the world. I see God in their eyes and grace in their smiles. 

Part of my job is leading a weekly children's chapel with the preschoolers at our church. A colleague took this picture of me at this week's chapel. I hate looking at myself in pictures, but I don't mind this one so much because I see joy on my face. That's because, when I'm surrounded by children, their joy bubbles over into me.

Falling into a cozy bed at the end of a long day (or any day!) - I am neither a morning person nor a night owl. It's actually quite unfair and extremely counterproductive. I hate getting out of my warm bed in the morning and, by about 8:00 every night, I am ready to climb back in and snuggle down under the covers. Nothing feels quite as comforting as finding just the right spot with the covers pulled up under my chin. 

"This Is Us"  - Okay, I know this is a cheesy addition to the list, but seriously - there are not many things in life that make me feel all the "feels" the way this show does. No spoilers here, but if you haven't seen the last two episodes (post-superbowl one and the one from Tuesday, 2/6), then, brace yourself. Also, while I totally love Sterling K. Brown, I am wholeheartedly recommending Mandy Moore for whatever the next big acting award might be after her portrayal of Rebecca in these last two episodes! 

Getting a compliment  - Have you ever read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? He proposes that we all have "languages" - Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch - and that we use these languages to give and receive love. However, of the five, typically one or two are stronger in a given individual than the rest and that one primary language is the best way for us to receive love. (i.e. if your primary is acts of service, your partner should show love by helping you do laundry, cleaning out your car for you, etc.). (You can actually take a quiz HERE to discover your primary love language.)  Anyhoo, one of my primary languages is, obviously, words of affirmation. I love a good compliment from someone telling me I look nice, that I did a really good job on something, or that they really appreciate something I've done. . 

Food - The fact that food is on this list may be a direct correlation to my lack of success with dieting. Really, though, food can bring comfort and happiness. For some it may be a decadent piece of chocolate cake. Others might prefer a delicious bowl of pasta covered in your favorite sauce.  Still others might prefer a crisp, green salad with just the right touch of dressing. Whatever your food preferences may be, there is nothing quite like anticipating and tasting something that excites your tastebuds and fills your soul. 

A Beautiful Beach - I can't swim, so it is probably rather ironic that I love the beach, but I do. There is something so calming about listening to the rhythm of the crashing waves and feeling the warmth of the sun coupled with a refreshing breeze. I do love winter and a good snow day, but there's nothing quite like relaxing by the ocean with some sand in my toes. 

A good laugh - I don't mean a little giggle following one of your kids' corny jokes. I mean a really good, deep down belly laugh - the kind that makes your side hurt as tears roll down your face. I'm talking about laughing so hard that you almost can't stop and really don't want to anyway. Those kind of laughs are the absolute best kind! (One of the last things that made me laugh like that was this video. I seriously thought I was going to have to change my pants!) 😂



My family - With three daughters, all of whom are in or quickly approaching teenage years, and a husband who travels a lot for work, I'm not going to lie and tell you that my family is a constant source of joy. Of course, there are eye rolls and frustration. There are schedules, budgets, chores, whining, and arguments. But, there is also love and laughter. There is nothing better than feeling my middle daughter wrap her lanky arms around my waist or nestling my head on my hubby's shoulder after he's been gone all week. I wouldn't trade the moments of reading a devotion with my youngest each night or the coffee dates with my oldest for all the riches in the world. 

Sure, there are other things in life that are almost as good and euphoric as being or falling in love, but these are the eight at the top of my list today. What would be on your list? 
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Something else that is almost as grand as falling in love?? Finish the Sentence Friday, of course! Thanks to Kristi and Kenya for hosting and for the fun prompt! 


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Helping Children Cope With Disasters and Violence

If you have turned on the news or scrolled through social media at all in the past few days, you have surely viewed the images of devastation from the earthquake in Nepal and the scenes of violence and chaos from the riots in Baltimore. It is sad and scary to know that such things are happening in our world, some of them a lot closer to home than others. Unfortunately, though, this is our reality and we cannot simply close our eyes to make it disappear.  

Try as we may, it is impossible to completely shield our children from exposure to stories like these. Kids will see it as they flip through TV channels or, if they are older, as they scroll through their own social media. They may hear about it from friends or perhaps their church or school will encourage them to make a donation to help. My children came home today with a note informing parents that the school would be collecting "Nickels for Nepal" to send to the Red Cross because a teacher in the school has family in the area. We simply cannot insulate them from it entirely.

So, the question then becomes, how do we help children cope with these harsh realities? 

1. Listen. When kids ask questions about what's happening or share with you their feelings about difficult events, the most important thing we can do is listen to them and give them an opportunity to express themselves openly.
2. Remember to talk to them on an age appropriate level. We all know we can't talk to our toddlers the same way we talk to our teenagers. When you are discussing these events with your children, keep in mind their developmental ability to understand abstract concepts, geography, and even numbers.
3. Keep it simple and follow their lead. Answer their questions, but don't go overboard. Some children might be satisfied to just hear, "Something bad happened and some people were hurt." Others, obviously, will ask more questions. There is no need to give kids more information than they ask for. They may come searching for more details later or they may be content with just the minimum facts.
4. Validate their feelings and reassure them. When Sandy Hook happened, one of my daughters had real anxiety about her own safety at school. I had to acknowledge that she was afraid and give her the opportunity voice her feelings rather than just casually saying,"Don't worry. It won't happen here." Then, I had to reassure her that her school was doing everything it could to make sure students were safe and that the school staff would always do their best to protect her. 
5. Show them how to help. Sometimes, kids struggle in these situations because they feel helpless. Empower them to take action. Help them host a lemonade stand to collect donations or go shopping with them to purchase needed relief supplies. It could even be as simple as writing a letter to someone or including the event in family prayers.
6. Finally, know when to seek professional help for your children. If you notice any of the following symptoms, it may be time to have your child talk to someone who is trained in helping them deal with anxiety and stress: unusual clinginess (i.e. never wanting to leave your side), problems with sleeping such as nightmares or bedwetting, acting out, aggression, withdrawal from normal activities, seeming to be obsessed with the event by constantly watching news clips or reading about it. 

No parent wants to have to discuss events like this with their children. We all wish we lived in a world where it would never be necessary. We know, however, that is not the case, so hopefully we can utilize these strategies to prepare ourselves and help our children cope when the things we don't want to think about become reality. 

Tweet This: How do we help children cope with harsh realities? #NepalEarthquake #BaltimoreRiots #1Word @JanineHuldie @Blogitudes http://bit.ly/1PUHi5X

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Offensive and Reality. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

An InLinkz Link-up

When They Grow Up

If you follow the Tuesday Ten Linkup I host with my blog friend Rabia every week, you know that we like to look at what unusual holidays are on the calendar and plan our topics accordingly.  When I saw that today is Take Your Kids (Sons and Daughters) to Work Day, I knew it was the perfect time to write this post that I have been thinking about for quite a while.

As moms, and parents, we often lament the passages as our children grow up.  We marvel at how fast time flies and we remember stages and phases from the past.  I am no different.  I often think about days when my children were smaller and there are some things about those days that I miss.  

However, I also like looking ahead.  I don't want time to go by too quickly, but I look forward to seeing what the future holds for my girls.  I wonder what boyfriends and, eventually, spouses they will have.  I wonder if they will have children of their own.  How many?  Boys or girls??  I wonder what careers they will choose. 

Based on their current interests and personalities, I have some predictions about their eventual occupations.  So, instead of taking my daughters to work with me, I'm going to share what I think their work might be in the future.

Rachel is 11 and in sixth grade.  She LOVES animals.  She became a vegetarian at the age of seven when she learned that eating meat means killing animals.  It may surprise you, though, to know that she does not want to be a veterinarian.  She doesn't like doctors or medical procedures and doesn't want to perform surgeries or euthanasia on the animals she loves so much.  Instead, if you ask what she wants to be when she grows up, her answer will be a zoologist.  She wants to be with the animals and care for them - feed them, play with them, oversee their environments, and teach others about them.  We have talked about it a lot and tried to explain that there may still be some days when animals she has become attached to are sick or hurt.  We have tried to explain that a zoologist may still have to make some tough decisions.  This, however has been her top choice for the past few years.  Her second choice, at the moment, is to be an architect.  I can completely see this as well.  Even when she was little, she preferred blocks and building over dolls or dress up.  She loves Minecraft and has even tried her hand at drawing some house plans before.  I think Rachel would be wonderful at either of these professions.  She is by far the most self-assured kid I have ever known.  She is quite determined and, once she has made up her mind, she will accomplish and excel at whatever she chooses.

Megan is 9 and in third grade.  What does she want to be when she grows up?  A teacher.  She loves school.  She comes home from real school and plays school- sometimes with her younger sister and sometimes all by herself, except, of course, for her imaginary class.  She takes in everything while she is in the classroom and, even at nine, sounds very teacher-like when I overhear her playing.  If, in the next ten years, she decides against becoming a teacher, she might choose to become a chef.  She went through a phase a few years ago when this was her answer to the question.  She loves to watch cooking/baking shows and likes to help in the kitchen from time to time.  I wouldn't say she is an adventurous eater, but she is certainly the least picky of all my children.  Another possibility is that she might become an engineer.  She loves math and is a whiz with puzzles.  At Christmas, she put together a 3-D Eiffel Tower puzzle (with just a little help from her dad) and was very proud of her accomplishment.  She asks a bazillion questions and likes to know every detail about how things work.

Emily is 6 and in first grade.  If you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, her answer will either be "a princess" or "a mommy."  At one point, she planned to have 20 kids! Perhaps  it is because she is a little younger, but a career prediction for her is a bit harder to make.  I once wrote about her amazing faith.  She has begun to ask more questions, sometimes questions that are fueled by seeds of doubt, but I think that is completely natural for a child her age and she always seems to come back to her beliefs.  Her faith coupled with her sense of compassion gives me confidence that she could be in ministry one day.  She could also be a doctor or a dentist.  She actually likes going to both and is a trooper when it comes to shots or minor procedures (unlike one of my other children who shall remain nameless).  She is definitely NOT an outdoor kind of gal and would not have a profession that involves dirt, sweat, or one in which she could not wear a dress. 

It's fun to make these predictions and I look forward to seeing where their paths take each of them.  In the end, the choice is theirs and the most important thing to me is that they choose something that will make them happy.

Do you have predictions for which careers your children will choose??  Did you choose a career that was "predictable?"

Note: 4/24/15

Recycling this one for FTSF!! This week's hosts are:

Kristi of Finding Ninee (http://www.findingninee.com/)

Kerri of Undiagnosed But Okay (http://undiagnosedbutokay.com/) 

and Jill of Ripped Jeans and Bifocals (http://rippedjeansandbifocals.com/)

       

Tuesday Ten - Q&A with Emily

Two weeks ago, for my Tuesday Ten, I listed some ideas that might be helpful if you are in a writing slump.  One of the ideas I had found was doing a Q and A with someone.  That gave me some inspiration and I decided to do Q and A with my daughters!  Obviously, that means three different posts!  Yay!!

Today's Tuesday Ten is my "interview" with my youngest, Emily.  She is 6 and in first grade.  She my little princess; the "girlie" one in the family who loves all things pink, sparkly, and fancy!  (You can read more about Emily here and here!)   

1. What is you favorite season and why?

Summer is my favorite season because I don't have to go to school!

2. What is your favorite thing to do in school?

Play with friends and make new friends.

3. What is your favorite thing to do when you're at home?

Play with Megan.

4. If you did all the cooking, what would we have for supper tonight?

Chocolate chip cookies!

5. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

I wish everybody was magical!

6. What is your favorite book or story?

The Kissing Hand.

7. I know you and Megan want to be cowgirls for Halloween this year.  Why did you choose that?

Because I like ponies and I can ride one of our stick ponies and say "Yeehaw!"  And I like to wear cowboy hat and boots!

8. If you could have one superpower what would it be and what would you do?

Super strength!  I would lift up Rachel and Megan and throw them up in the air.

9. Do you like your name "Emily?"  If you could change it, what name would you give yourself?

Yes.  If I gave myself a different name I would name myself Elizabeth.

10. Do you have a joke you can tell me?

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Spongebob Squarepants.

Spongebob Squarepants who?

AHHHHHH!  Don't clean me!  I'm a sponge!

And there you have it!  My interview with my sweet Emily!  She loved that I was "putting her on my blog" and interviewing her was lots of fun! :-)

<a href="http://www.the-golden-spoons.com" target="_blank"><img alt="The Golden Spoons" src="http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b552/lspoon1/smallTuesdayTenjpeg_zpsad8292e4.jpg"/></a>

Faith Like a Child

One night a couple of weeks ago, I was putting my youngest to bed.  She brushed her teeth and, then, we snuggled together to read a book.  As I kissed her one last time and reached to turn off the lamp, she asked, "Mommy, do you think everyone really has a special angel who goes with them everywhere and takes care of them?"

Mentally, I was moving on to my next nighttime task and the question caught me a bit off guard.  I was not quite sure how to answer, but, eventually, I managed to say, "Well, I don't really know for sure because we can't see the angels, but many people believe that we do have guardian angels.  What do you think? Do you have a guardian angel?"

Without hesitation, she answered "Yes! Aunt Marg is my angel."

(Aunt Marg is my husband's great aunt.  She was like a pseudo-grandmother to him and she passed away shortly after we found out we were pregnant for the third time.  Emily's middle name is Margaret in remembrance of Aunt Marg.)

After that, Emily's emotions turned to sadness.  "It's not fair," she said, "that sissies got to meet Aunt Marg and I didn't because she died before I was born.  I wish I got to meet her and your Mamaw, too."

These are things for which no parenting "How To" book could ever prepare you.

"I know," I said.  Then, I attempted to comfort her by saying, "You will meet them all some day in Heaven."  Since this did not seem to console her, I attempted to change the subject.  "What do you think Heaven is like?" I asked.

She smiled and her face brightened a tad. "Oh, it's pretty Mommy!"  Then, she described to me in detail what the castles will look like.  She told me that all the girls get fancy, sparkly wings and all the boys get pretty wings, too, but they aren't sparkly because boys don't like sparkles.

Eventually, the conversation ended with her still upset about the people she has never met, but feeling a bit comforted by thoughts of Heaven and pretty things.

A little over a week later, as we were leaving church, this conversation happened:

Emily:  My [Sunday School] teachers told us that if you close your eyes and listen really hard, sometimes you can hear God and when we were saying the prayer  [The Lord's Prayer] in church I did that and I really did hear Him!

Me:  Really?  That's awesome!  What did He say to you?

Emily:  He said my name and told me he loves me and told me to be good.

Again, I was a bit taken aback by her statements.

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Really, these conversations shouldn't have surprised me all that much.  You see, Emily has always had this innate relationship with God.  Although I don't talk about it much here on the blog, we are Christians - Presbyterians to be exact - and we are very involved with our church.  However, her connection to a higher power goes much deeper than the basic Sunday School lesson or the rote memory verses.  It always has.

This, however, is not a post about God or Christianity or even religion in general.  This is a post about FAITH.

Dictionary.com defines faith as:

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing
2. belief that is not based on proof

Another definition I recently read and love (which actually comes from the Bible) says "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11: 1)

After that first conversation with her, I could not get this song out of my head.  It is by a Christian Music group named Jars of Clay.  The song is called (Faith) Like A Child.

Faith like a child.  Faith that is instinctive and whole.  Faith that is not weakened by things of the world like disappointment or fear.  Faith that just is.

That's the kind of faith Emily has - faith like a child because she is a child.  Her faith hasn't been weakened by loss or hurt or knowledge of evil in the world.  Her faith is innocent and pure.  She sees the good without question.  She believes without doubt.

Emily's faith amazes me and I can't help but wonder how much more wonderful our world would be if more of us had faith like a child.  Faith like Emily.  Faith in whatever higher power you choose to believe in.  Faith in others.  Faith in ourselves.  Simple, whole-hearted, perfect faith.  

For Squirt - An Our Land Guest Post

I remember the first day she walked into my classroom.  She was a little bitty, but adorable.  She had big, bright eyes that shone from behind her little glasses.  She was a bundle of spunk and energy, bouncing from one thing to the next and smiling all the while.  She didn't know she had special needs.  She was the very definition of joy.  She made a lot of progress in my classroom that year.  After meeting her, my husband affectionately nicknamed her "Squirt."

Squirt was indeed a special little girl who would end up making more of an impact on my life than I could have ever imagined the first time I met her.  I am truly honored to share her story today over on the Our Land series at Finding Ninee today.  On her blog, Kristi writes about parenthood and life through the eyes of her son, Tucker, who is on the autistic spectrum but does not have an "official" diagnosis.  The Our Land series was started after Kristi wrote this post entitled "The Land Of Empathy and Wonder."  It was so powerful and got such a supportive response, she decided to turn it into a series that is now filled with many powerful, poignant, well-written posts.  Again, I do truly consider it an honor to be included in such a wonderful group of writers and such a powerful collection of stories.

I do hope that you will come on over and spend some time reading my post as well as all of the other ones that have been featured!

For my post click HERE.  For a list of all the Our Land Posts click HERE.

Finding Our Rhythm

My youngest daughter who is six has just recently started taking piano lessons.  I took lessons for years when I was younger, but was never "musically inclined."  It never came easily to me.  However, I do know the basics and can play few tunes.  So, over the weekend, I sat down with her to practice.  Currently, she is learning the difference between quarter notes (which get one beat) and half notes (which get two beats).  As I helped her, we discussed counting the beats and finding the rhythm.

As I thought back on it, it seemed a bit paradoxical because we haven't quite found the rhythm of fall and school just yet.

This Labor Day weekend, we said good-bye to summer.  My kids had a full week of school last week, so this long weekend was kind of like an encore - an extra little bonus.  We enjoyed our lazy mornings and spent some time splashing in the pool.  (Time that was slightly marred when my oldest took a nasty tumble on the concrete pool deck - but, that's another story.)  We held that last note of summer just a little bit longer.

Now, we are back in the groove of school with no rest in sight for quite a while.  Summer's song has ended and the music of Fall is in the air.  We are still re-adjusting to new bedtimes, early mornings, homework, and extracurricular busyness.  Things are still a little off-key and we haven't really found our harmony.

As I told my sweet Emily by the piano, though, practice makes perfect!  We will continue to plunk out the notes and, eventually, they will get smoother.  There will be crescendos and lulls, long notes and short ones.  Over time, we will hit the right keys and find the correct tempo.  We'll find our rhythm and  dance to the music of the school year.

And, before we know it, we'll be singing summer melodies once again.

So long for now, summer!  It's been fun!

Ten Things I've Learned From My Kids

For almost everyone, school is now back in session.  Each day, our kids are busy learning (we hope!).  They are studying numbers, words, science, and history.  They are learning about social dynamics and following directions.  Hopefully, they are filling their minds with lots of valuable knowledge.

A couple of weeks ago, when we were on the brink of this new school year, I read this post from AnnMarie who blogs over at Tidbits From The Queen of Chaos.  In it, AnnMarie writes about the things she has learned from each of her children.  Her post inspired me.  As I send my children off each day to learn new things I began to think about all the things I have learned from my children and from motherhood.  So, for today's Tuesday Ten, here are . . . .

Rachel has taught me:
1.  Determination - When she sets her mind to something, she will not let it go until it is accomplished.  For example, she LOVES animals and has plans to become a zoologist.  At age 7, she learned that eating meat meant killing animals and decided to become a vegetarian.  She has stuck to it now for almost four years.  I realize that I may be a little biased, but I don't know many eleven year old kids who can "stick to their guns" that way.  It's impressive and reminds me to not give up.
 2.  Self confidence - I'm not always the most self-confident person.  However, Rachel is.  She is not concerned what others think of her outfit or her decision to be a vegetarian.  She is confident in her decisions.  She is confident in who she is and doesn't let other people or what's "popular" sway her.

Megan has taught me:
3.  How to be silly - As a mom, I have a lot on my plate.  Most days, I'm too focused on schedules and logistics.  Megan, on the other hand, is a lot more "go with the flow."  She loves to be silly and, even when I don't want to, she makes me laugh.  When she was 4, I went into a conference with her PreK teacher and, honestly, expected to hear that Megan talks too much or doesn't focus.  Instead, her teacher started off by saying, "I love Megan because she is just so joyful!"  That's true.  Megan makes people smile.  Megan makes me laugh.  Megan reminds me that, sometimes, it's o.k. to be silly.
4.  Bravery - Megan has no fear.  She started playing soccer last spring and, when the team was short a goalie, she jumped in without giving it a second thought.  It turns out that she loves to play goalie, but she never would have known if she hadn't tried it so fearlessly.  She tries new things with very little hesitation.  I strive to be a brave as she is.

Emily has taught me:
5.  Faith -  As an adult, I think it is only natural that we questions things we cannot completely understand.  Not Emily.  She seems to have this innate faith in God and goodness.  She once told me that the best things in life are God, Family, Red Velvet (frozen yogurt),  and Firehouse Subs!  In her sweet mind, those are the most important things in life and I think it's pretty special that she put God first even at the age of six.  Faith that strong is not easy to achieve.
6.  Princesses do exist - Emily is most certainly the "girliest" of my three daughters.  She only wears dresses or skirts/skorts - the fancier the better.  She dislikes bugs and getting dirty.   She loves all things pink and frilly.  Of course, she loves princesses and castles, too.  She is my little princess and reminds me that anything is possible with a little imagination.  

Motherhood has taught me:
7.  Patience -  I think most parents would agree that nothing can try your patience like a child.  From temper tantrums to whining to sibling rivalry to constant messes, there are time when we want to yell or curse or just run away.  Parenthood takes a great deal of restraint sometimes.  When we think we are completely out of patience, we have to dig deeper and find more.
8.  Strength -  Childbirth itself is an act of physical strength, but that's only the beginning.  We have to  find strength to keep going after sleepless nights and through sickness or injury.  We have to find emotional strength to endure letting them "cry it out" or to let them go to school for the first time or to put our foot down despite hearing "You're the worst mom!"  As a mother, I have found strength that, previously, I didn't know I possessed.
9.  Not to be judgmental - I admit that I am often too quick to judge.  Children, however, are not unless we teach them to be so.  Knowing that children are always in earshot has taught me to choose my words carefully and wisely.  Seeing things through their eyes has taught me to see the positive and to not judge so swiftly.
10.  Unconditional love - I love my parents and my brother.  I love my husband.  However, there is absolutely no love that compares to the love you feel for your child.  It is a love that you cannot fully comprehend until you have experienced it firsthand.  Sometimes I look at them and think my heart may just burst.  Being a mother has taught me the true meaning of unconditional, all-encompassing love.