Miles and Miles

I recently wrote that we were in the process of figuring out our next vehicle. Well, much to my chagrin, our next vehicle ended up being another Honda Odyssey because it was the sensible thing to do. We did get a different color and, of course, it's newer, but mostly - almost exactly - the same. We drove it off the car lot on a Saturday evening with 89 miles on the odometer. When I pulled in the driveway on Friday evening, the odometer read "644." A little quick math will tell you that means I drove 555 miles in less than a week and I never left the county in which I live. I drove miles and miles between dropping kids off, picking kids up, going to work, taking kids to riding lessons, piano lessons, soccer practice, home in the middle of the day to meet the cable guy, and the list goes on. Miles and Miles.

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I turned 40 last week. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I survived. My fabulous family and sweet friends made it a joyful week-long celebration with lots of happy wishes and chocolate! I wonder how many miles I have walked, run, or driven in the past 40 years?? How many more will I travel in the next 40?? It's hard to fathom, but I'll make it with the help of people who love me walking alongside me. Miles and miles we'll go.

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It won't be too much longer until I'm driving a few less miles because my oldest daughter will be driving some herself. She will be taking driver's education in April and will be able to get her permit in August when she turns 15. Of course, that will be followed by getting her actual license a year later. On one hand, I will be relieved when she can drive herself places so I don't have to. On the other hand, I'm terrified. I remember my mom saying to me, "It's not that I'm worried about you. It's that I worry about all the other crazy drivers!" Now, I know exactly what she meant! I've begun trying to be conscious about giving my own version of driving lessons when we are in the car. Just other night, as we drove home through pouring rain, I was giving her advice about keeping a greater distance between cars and lowering her speed when driving in the rain. I can only hope that, in the future, she'll hear my voice in the back of her mind as she drives miles and miles on her own.
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My middle daughter is now playing soccer on her school's middle school team. I am constantly amazed by her boundless energy. She goes to school all day, runs miles and miles on the soccer field during practice, then comes home and rides more miles on her bike in the driveway. I wish I had an ounce of the energy she has - although this level of energy apparently requires mass quantities of food to maintain! As I entered all the soccer game dates into the calendar on my phone, I was overhwlemed by the amount of additional miles I will be driving over the next couple months to attend all of them. Of course, many of them overlap with her sisters' activities, too. Miles and miles I will go.
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My youngest has been struggling a bit with school lately - which means I've been struggling, too. She is such a compassionate, tender-hearted kid that it is hard to be stern with her. However, when it comes to academics and work, she has a lazy streak a mile long, so we had to deliver a little "tough love" to address it. She is only in fourth grade, so she has miles and miles of school ahead of her. Hopefully, the lessons she is learning now will pay off down the road.
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You know what seems miles and miles away? Summer vacation. As much as I despise hot, humid temperatures, I adore the slower pace of summer. Sleeping in, hanging out by the pool, and reading lots of books is pure heaven. It's a couple months of the year when I DON'T drive miles and miles in my minivan - unless it's to the beach or the mountains. We haven't panned any summer trips yet, though. Hopefully, we'll be able to go somewhere that is miles and miles away from our ordinary routine. :-) 

Do you have summer plans yet? Where will you be traveling?



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10 Things People Without Kids Totally Take for Granted

On the day I was born (March 1), Jimmy Carter was President, Laverne and Shirley were #1 on TV, a gallon of gas cost 65 cents, and the average price of a new house was just under $50,000. According to Billboard, the number one song on that day was "Evergreen" by Barbara Streisand, the theme song from a movie called "A Star Is Born." Coincidence? Perhaps. (Especially since one website says there were 374,000 babies born worldwide on my birthdate.) 
In the years since that day, I have learned a lot of things, but nothing has taught me more than motherhood. Parenting has changed my perspective and taught me about an extraordinary level of frustration, fear, joy, and love that, previously, I never knew existed. It has also made me realize that, in the years before I became a mom, there were many things I completely took for granted.  

Alone time - Before kids, being alone is usually negative. We try to avoid being alone by filling our calendars with activities and friends. After kids, we are NEVER alone. If by some miracle it happens, it becomes a guilt-inducing luxury that requires careful planning and/or sheer luck.

Silence - Ah, the blissful sound of silence! Before kids, we fill our atmosphere with sounds of TV, music, people, etc. After kids, we would give just about anything to turn it (and them!) all off and just soak in the quiet for a minute or two.

SILENCE and 9 other things we take for granted before kids. #FTSF #PARENTING @TheGoldenSpoons

Schedule flexibility - A friend calls at the last minute and says, "Hey! Want to meet me for coffee?" Before kids, you say, "Sure!", grab your purse, and head out the door. After kids, you have to consider how the coffee date will disrupt your kids' nap schedule or mealtime; secure a baby-sitter if you don't want to take the kid; pack the diaper bag/snack bag/all-the-things-to-keep-kids-occupied bag; and- oh yeah - take a shower because you haven't had one in a couple of days. Most of the time, it's almost not even worth the effort.

Food- Before kids, food is a secondary thing to consider when you go out. If you eat at home, you just have to please yourself and, maybe, a spouse. You can run to the grocery store just about whenever you need. After kids, you have to deal with picky eaters and kids hanging off your leg while you cook. We all know taking kids to a restaurant or the grocery store can end up being a total disaster and don't even get me started on the grocery bill!

Cleanliness- I am so tired of cleaning. Having kids means more humans in the house which also means more dishes, more laundry, and more dirt. As soon as I clean something, it gets trashed again the minute the kids walk in. Earlier this week, my middle daughter complained because she didn't have any clean clothes. When I went to her room to help her find something, this was the scene in her closet . . . . .

I rest my case. I'm pretty much convinced that my house will never be really clean again until my kids move out.  

"Adult" tv/movies - Get your minds out of the gutter - I'm not talking about those kind of movies. I'm talking about the basic stuff. My girls are getting older, so we have moved beyond Dora and Caillou (Thank goodness!), but I still don't want them watching shows full of sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. Since our daughters are bound to walk through the room unannounced at some point, my husband and I have to be careful what we watch, too. Even shows that seem innocent, like The Big Bang Theory,  have some very adult concepts/jokes/etc. when you view it through the eyes of an elementary school kid.

Your own parents - My parents must have had it easy because my brother and I were pretty good kids! (OK - stop laughing, mom!) Really, I'm just kidding. It doesn't matter if the kids are "good" or not, parenting is HARD!!! Just the volume of stuff you have to think about and stuff you have to do is overwhelming. Throw in a healthy dose of worry and guilt on top of all that and it's a miracle any of us survive. 

Sleep/sleeping in - This one doesn't require much explanation. However, I will point out one thing. We all know that parents of newborns don't get much sleep - that's a given. As kids get older, though, it doesn't get too much better. My kids are 13, 11, and 8, but we're up at the crack of dawn to get to school and up late doing extracurriculars and homework. Plus - that whole "sleep while the baby sleeps" thing? These days, naps are only a memory somewhere in a very distant past. 

Perky boobs/svelt physique - Have you seen this meme? Yeah. That.

Doing anything without being interrupted - Sleeping. Peeing. Folding Laundry. Watching TV. Eating. Hiding. Doesn't matter what I'm doing, chances are someone is going to need something and/or start shouting "Mooooooom!" when I'm right in the middle of whatever it is. 

How about you? What did you take for granted before you had kids that you would really like to get back now?

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This post was written as part of the Finish the Sentence Linkup hosted by Kristi of Finding Ninee. 

I Asked, They Answered - Questions for my Kids

Have you seen this thing going around Facebook? 

"Without any prompting, ask your kids these questions . . . . "

Then, of course, it is followed by a list of questions you are supposed to copy and paste into your status with your kids' answers. 

It was blowing up my Facebook feed last week. I read several of them and scrolled past several others. I admit, I was curious how my own kids might answer the questions, but also a little terrified. Kids are brutally honest and you just never know what they will say. It might be warm and fuzzy; it might be funny; or it might be pretty hard to swallow! 

Then, one night while we were snowed in, I sat on the couch reading a book and my hubby sat beside me scrolling through Facebook on his phone. As my oldest daughter walked through the room, he stopped her and started asking her the questions! Her answers for him were not too bad, so I decided to ask all three girls the questions myself!

Me- asking Rachel, 13
1. What is something I always say to you?  Relax
2. What makes me happy? Us not fighting.
3. What makes me sad? Us fighting.
4. How do I make you laugh? When you yell at other drivers on the road.
5. What was I like as a child? Cute, small, probably kinda girly.
6. How old am I? 38
7. How tall am I? 5'8" 
8. What is my favorite thing to do? Write and blog
9. What do I do when you're not around? Cook, clean, write, and work.
10. What am I really good at? Writing and grammar and all that stuff.
11. What am I not very good at? Math.
12. What do I do for a job? Interim Associate of Children's Ministries
13. What is my favorite food? Dessert
14. What do you enjoy doing with me? Shopping (as long as my sisters don't go).

Me asking Emily, age 8
1. What is something I always say to you? I Love you
2. What makes me happy? When Rachel, Megan, & me clean up and don't argue.
3. What makes me sad? When I don't eat something for dinner (because she doesn't like what I cooked).
4. How do I make you laugh? (Through uncontrollable giggles) Because you told Megan to tie up her boobs!"  (Explanation - While the girls and I were out shopping on our fourth snow day last week, I told Megan to tie up her BOOTS as we got out of the car. She misheard me and thought I said BOOBS! The girls thought it was hilarious!)
5. What was I like as a child? You were happy and you had a brother.
6. How old am I? 38
7. How tall am I? I don't know! 
8. What is my favorite thing to do? Probably write on your blog.
9. What do I do when you're not around? If I'm not around, how do I know?  (Always has a wisecrack her sleeve!)
10. What am I really good at? Taking care of Rachel, Megan, and me when Daddy's not home.
11. What am I not very good at? I don't know. You're good at everything.
12. What do I do for a job? You work part time at church.
13. What is my favorite food? Probably chicken.
14. What do you enjoy doing with me? I enjoy laughing with you!

Me asking Megan, 11
1. What is something I always say to you? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything.
2. What makes me happy? Me and Rachel and Emily not fighting. And Daddy, and family, and the color purple.
3. What makes me sad? Me and Rachel fighting. That time we thought Rachel was lost but she was really just down the road.
4. How do I make you laugh? You say something weird like "Tie up your boobs," (see above for explanation) or tickling me.
5. What was I like as a child? I have no clue. Probably goofy and fun.
6. How old am I? 38
7. How tall am I? 5'9"
8. What is my favorite thing to do? Blog
9. What do I do when you're not around? Blog, order groceries, do laundry, go to work at church.
10. What am I really good at? Cooking and being a mom.
11. What am I not very good at? Being a father! Ha! 
12. What do I do for a job? Work at church and be a mom. 
13. What is my favorite food? Shrimp? Oh yeah, that coconut shrimp!
14. What do you enjoy doing with me? Shopping, cooking, joking around.

Are you brave enough to ask your kids these 14 questions? #1Word @TheGoldenSpoons

This really was a fun experiment! It made me realize that things I think go unnoticed really don't. It also made me laugh. None of them knew my correct height (5'7") and they were all very hesitant to name something I'm not very good at - I think they thought it would hurt my feelings. It's also funny to hear the things they remember that I had almost forgotten. For instance, Megan saying my favorite food is shrimp. I actually don't like seafood much at all - but, the last time we went to one of our favorite restaurants at the beach I was disappointed because their coconut shrimp that I do like had been removed from the menu. Out of all the meals we eat together, that's what she remembered! 

Give it a try with your kids and see what they have to say about you! 

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyaholic and me! This month, the word prompt choices were Honest, Perfect, and Curious. 

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Hanging on by a Thread

Y'all, I'm at the end of my proverbial motherhood rope.

There. I've admitted it "out loud."

I've got a 13 year old who oozes negativity. The world is awful. HER world is somehow miserably boring yet extremely stressful. Of course, nothing is ever fair. Good natured, happy moments and productive conversations with her are few and far between.

My 11 year old is like a lanky, female version of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute, she is the jovial, happy-go-lucky kid she's always been. The next minute, without warning, she is a hormonal mess of anger and tears. 

Then, there is my 8 year old who is precariously teetering between a desire for independence and a yearning to hold on for dear life to the last shred of "I'm the baby" that is left. I often hear the paradoxical statement of "Put down your blankie/doll so you can do your multiplication problems and vocabulary" echoing from my mouth across the kitchen table in the afternoons.

The truth is, I love them dearly; with my whole heart; more than anything else on the face of this earth. But, they are driving me mad.

Add to all of this  . . . . . 

• my part time job (that I love even though it sometimes feels more like full time)
• the groceries that must be bought (because, I swear, these kids are ALWAYS hungry)
• the laundry (that, apparently procreates overnight while we sleep)
• the dishes (that simply refuse to jump into the dishwasher all by themselves)
• the schedules (riding lessons, piano lessons, school performances and meetings, appointments, family gatherings . . and the list goes on)
• and the countless miles I drive getting everyone to everywhere they need to be . . . . 

and, well, I'm drowning. I'm furiously kicking and flailing in an attempt to tread water, but I'm barely staying afloat. Just barely.

So, then, I become another part of the problem. Exhausted and short-tempered myself, I get frustrated, snippy, and disengaged. 

Then, comes the guilt, engulfing me wholly.

It's a vicious cycle, really.

Today, I'm at the end of my motherhood rope, but this too shall pass. @TheGoldenSpoons

I keep telling myself, "This is the season you're in - you just have to wait it out" and "This too shall pass." And, it will pass. I know it will.

I've told myself all those things before. I said it when I was in the throes of potty training and temper tantrums. I said it when I had three girls under six. I said it when they were all in school all day for the first time. 

I said it would pass and it did.

Now, I'm saying it again.

I survived all those other "seasons" and I will survive this one, too.

Someday in the future, this house will be quiet. I'll miss the activity and the noise. I'll look back on these days and, even though I will remember that they were hard, I will think of them fondly and wonder how it is possible for time to fly by so fast. 

Someday. A week or a month or a year from now. It will pass and seem like just a blip on the radar. Someday. 

But, today, I hanging on by a thread.

How do you get through the difficult "seasons?"

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This post is part of the Finish the Sentence Friday Linkup hosted by:

Kristi of Finding Ninee

This week's sentence was "In the future . . . . "

Arguing About Arguing - And Other Ridiculousness!

When I had three daughters, people told me they would be the best of friends. Sometimes, they are. Other times? Not so much. Here's what I said about it in a post I wrote couple of months ago:

Well, those three sisters are now 12, 10, and 7 years old and they could not be more different. The oldest is super smart, sporty, stoic, and driven. The middle one is a ball of energy, chatter, and silliness. The youngest is a little princess who wears her heart on her sleeve. 

Oftentimes, the differences make these sisters mix about as well as oil and water. They fight. They bicker. They intentionally annoy one another and point out every flaw they see in the other. The bond people told me would be so deep and strong is buried under yelling, arguing, and tears.

It seems their arguing, ebbs and flows like the tide. They go through phases when they (mostly) get along. Then, somehow the cosmos realign and an arguing phase ensues in which they cannot even be in the same room without jumping down each other's throats. 

Right now, we are in one of those arguing phases. Maybe it's because it's the end of summer and my girls have had all the "togetherness" they can stand. Maybe they are bored and fighting is just a way to fill the time. Maybe it's just what siblings do and trying to assign any rhyme or reason is pointless. 

Not only do they argue with each other, but they argue with me as well. Often it seems, we have the same disagreements over and over and over again. 

In just the last few days, here are some of the utterly ridiculous & annoyingly repetitive things they have argued about with each other and with me:

1. Who left footprints on the windshield of my minivan. Yes, you read that correctly. FOOTPRINTS on the WINDSHIELD!
2. Messes. "Who left this empty cup here?" I ask and the finger pointing begins. And, heaven forbid I ask them to clean something! That incites an argument, for sure! 
3. Food - Where to go out to eat, who ate the last of the ice cream, who is the pickiest eater - all are debate-worthy. Just the other day, my oldest - the vegetarian - was insulting my youngest about how picky she is! 
4. Who sits where in the car. Three is an odd number which means nothing can ever really be fair and someone always has to sit in the back of the van. They fight over this every time we go somewhere. Every. Single. Time.
5. Clothes. I learned a long time ago to pick my battles when it comes to clothes, but once in a while I have to insist they wear something that makes a little more sense than whatever outfit they have chosen on their own. Inevitably, this causes an uprising.
6. Hair. My oldest doesn't want her curly hair to be frizzy yet she refuses to put any product on it because that makes it "crunchy." My two youngest have a very apparent disdain for combing their hair.
7. Bedtime. Of course, they always think they should go to bed later than we make them and the oldest thinks she should be allowed to go to bed later than her younger sisters.
8. Temperature. They're hot. They're cold. Nobody can ever agree.
9. Family activities. Family game night? Nobody can agree on a game. Family movie night? Nobody can agree on a movie. Squabbles sure to flare up.
10. Arguing. Yep. They argue about why and how they argue. They argue about who started it and whose fault it is. Arguing about arguing - the ultimate ridiculousness! 

Based on past experience, I know this phase will pass and, if I can survive it, the tide will, eventually, turn once again. Life will return to a more peaceful state. In the meantime, I will try to smile and remember to laugh at the silliness of these arguments, because, sometimes, laughing is all I can do to keep from pulling out every last hair on my head!

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12 Things My Kids Will Never Understand Thanks to Modern Technology

A couple years ago, my husband and I took our three daughters,  currently ages 12, 10, and 7, to an event on a college campus. While there, we walked through one of the older buildings and passed by a bank of payphones. “What are those?” the girls asked. I explained the concept of putting a quarter into the slot to make a call. They thought the idea was completely absurd! “Why wouldn’t you just use your cell phone?” they questioned. I reminded them that there was a time before the invention of cell phones when people were dependent of those archaic methods of calling someone to which they responded, “You mean payphones are a real thing? We thought Adam Levine just made it up for that song!”

It occurred to me then that there are, in fact, several “old fashioned” things and concepts, like payphones, my kids will simply never understand thanks to modern technology!

•  How to fold a map - My kids will just enter an address into an app. Then, some strange woman with an Australian accent will give them step-by-step directions to their destination – no map required.
•  How to look something up in an Encyclopedia or Dictionary – Let’s face it – they’ll just Google it.
  
• How to use a rotary dial phone – My grandmother had a black one. I used to love to put my fingers in the circular opening and spin that dial, but it took forever to call someone. Now, my kids just tell Siri to “Call Mom.”

  

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• How it feels to be tethered to the wall when talking on the phone – When my family got a cordless phone, I thought it was so cool that I could take the phone to my room and shut the door! Nowadays, we can walk around almost anywhere and even drive our cars while we talk on our phones.
• Traveler’s checks – Do they even make these anymore? Before we went on a vacation, my parents went by the bank to trade cash for these little ditties. These days, everyone just uses plastic.
• Being limited to three TV channels – Back in the day, we only had the Big Three – NBC, CBS, ABC. There was no FOX, CNN, MTV, Disney, or Nickelodeon. Today, it is absolutely mind boggling how many channels  and mind numbing shows are available.

  

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• Walking across the room to change the channel – When I was a kid, I was the remote control. Now, we have so many remotes that I don’t even know what half of them are for!
• VHS and Cassette tapes – Last summer, I was showing a movie on VHS to a group of kids at our church. As they impatiently waited, I told them I had to rewind it to the beginning. Most of them didn’t even know what “rewind” meant.

  

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• The sound of a dial up modem – Modern kids would probably think Earth is being invaded by aliens or zombies if they heard the sound that anyone over 30 would instantly recognize as the doorbell to the Internet.
• How to entertain themselves on a road trip by playing the license plate game and singing “99 Bottles of Pop on the wall” a few dozen times – Even ten years ago when my kids were toddlers, we had a minivan with a DVD player. Now, newer model cars come fully quipped with wifi and our kids are fully equipped with devices to stave of boredom (and save our sanity) if we plan to be in the car for longer than 20 minutes.
• Giving someone you care about the gift of a Mix Tape – I can remember sitting by the radio for hours with my tape recorder ready just waiting for that certain song to come on so I could record it. Thanks to iTunes, we will never have to do that again.

Tweet This: My kids will never understand the joy of a mix tape! #1Word http://bit.ly/1Rjqxp7

• Flipping through a photo album – Remember the days of loading the film into your camera, watching the number tick lower with each photo you snapped, dropping the film at the drug store, going back a few days later to see what you actually captured, then organizing them in a photo album? For my kids, Instagram is their photo album. Many “youngsters” will probably never even own a camera – they will just use their cell phones.

Modern technology has certainly made our lives easier and I will be the first to admit that I love my contemporary conveniences. However, it does make me a little sad that my kids will never experience the smell of an old Encyclopedia or the excitement of waiting for that song to finally come on the radio. I can only imagine how ancient our current advancements will seem to my grandkids another 25 years from now!

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This post was part of the One Word Blog Linkup hosted by, Janine of Confessions of a Mommyholic, Marica of Blogitudes, and me! This week, the word prompt choices were Blessing and Absurd. If you would like to join the linkup you can find more information HERE, sign up for weekly emails HERE, and/or join our Facebook group HERE. Every Friday, two prompts are emailed. Choose one and write a post using that word as inspiration. Linkup up any time between 6:00am EST on Wednesday-9:00pm EST on Thursdays on any of the host sites.

 

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